The secret, the magic, the key:
Yes, yes, I know. What happened before wasn’t your fault. It was too soon. It was too late. It was too much. They didn’t ask. They didn’t tell. You didn’t know. It was unfair. It hurt. They lied. You cried. It was a mistake. It was a crime. But that was then.
We forgive because we can. And we forget because we must, or we condemn ourselves to lifetimes of pain.
So forget the story you tell yourself about your parents, the story you tell yourself about your childhood, the story of absence and lack. Forget the birth story, the death story, the divorce story, the story you keep repeating, the story you’ll never forget. Forget that story, and do not replace it with another.
Forget what might have been and what might yet be. The past is gone and the future will arrive on schedule. Forget what you thought. Forget what you felt. Today is the tonic for yesterday. Now is the only cure for then. Forget, and you will know genuine gratitude. Gratitude is the fruit of letting go.
—Paradise in Plain Sight: Lessons From a Zen Garden. Karen Maezen Miller.